Tea et aL
I’ve become a compulsive tea drinker, a total wreck with out it, mornings become cruel, 3:30’s become unbearable, work goes disarray and my body sinks into a state of transient lethargy… with out my cup of TEA.
My tea habit has become an inexorable addiction and who or what do I blame it ON!!!????
‘Me Self’..!?.. Naa! ...
... never blame your self for anything, not when you can conveniently shift the blame on your parents, your grand parents, your teachers, the society … history… class struggle… capitalism… inadequacies of your bodily organs… yada yada yada.
‘Me parents’… a couple of a compulsive tea drinker themselves, never really imposed the habit on me though and even kept me shielded from it till I reached puberty.
‘Me granddad’... the ‘granddad’ of compulsive tea drinkers, regimented ex-serviceman, had to have his cup of tea in the evening, made him many a cup when grandmom wasn’t around to do so. Pity, he isn’t around to share my new found tea dependence.
The Fucki’n British Empire Man... the great colonial power, the bastards who ruled India till about nineteen forty something AD, had to introduce tea cultivation (and a tea habit) into the subcontinent, a classic tale of capitalism; virgin forests felled in the colonies and replaced by alien cash crops, exploitation of available cheap labour, creation of a Nuevo class to control the labour, ship the finer produce back to the home land and cultivate a habit amongst the native and create a market to dump the surplus. We become a nation of ‘chai’ drinkers, a ‘chai’ shop in every corner of every street.
But then, about 5000 years back, in ‘freakin somewhere’ in china a draft blew a bunch of dried leaves of an unclassified bush (tea bush of course) and dropped it into a cup of hot water, ready to be served to the emperor; an obsessive compulsive nut who believed that the safest way to drink water was by boiling it first. The hygiene freak failed to notice that the cup of hot water had turned light-brown in color, and his nostrils were probably blocked, cause the nut couldn’t smell the aroma (hmmm… the enticing tea aroma) coming out go his cup. A sip of it and the obsessive compulsive hygiene freak (of an emperor) became an obsessively compulsive tea drinker. Being lunatic Despot et al, he imposed his obsessively compulsions on his subject, china became a nation of tea drinkers and the rest… history.
Thus we have the most significant draft in history, totally responsible for my Tea Addiction.
…I Blame Thee, you insignificant draft,
What compelled thee do blow those leaves
And guide them to the lunatic’s cup…
I suppose all this adds a new twist to the ‘butterfly effect’ theory, doesn’t it? An insignificant wind blew a few of leaves of a bush some 5000 years back and I am stuck with a ‘bloody’ addiction…
REALITY!!! I’m stuck with a ‘bloody’ TEA addiction!!!
My tea habit has become an inexorable addiction and who or what do I blame it ON!!!????
‘Me Self’..!?.. Naa! ...
... never blame your self for anything, not when you can conveniently shift the blame on your parents, your grand parents, your teachers, the society … history… class struggle… capitalism… inadequacies of your bodily organs… yada yada yada.
‘Me parents’… a couple of a compulsive tea drinker themselves, never really imposed the habit on me though and even kept me shielded from it till I reached puberty.
‘Me granddad’... the ‘granddad’ of compulsive tea drinkers, regimented ex-serviceman, had to have his cup of tea in the evening, made him many a cup when grandmom wasn’t around to do so. Pity, he isn’t around to share my new found tea dependence.
The Fucki’n British Empire Man... the great colonial power, the bastards who ruled India till about nineteen forty something AD, had to introduce tea cultivation (and a tea habit) into the subcontinent, a classic tale of capitalism; virgin forests felled in the colonies and replaced by alien cash crops, exploitation of available cheap labour, creation of a Nuevo class to control the labour, ship the finer produce back to the home land and cultivate a habit amongst the native and create a market to dump the surplus. We become a nation of ‘chai’ drinkers, a ‘chai’ shop in every corner of every street.
But then, about 5000 years back, in ‘freakin somewhere’ in china a draft blew a bunch of dried leaves of an unclassified bush (tea bush of course) and dropped it into a cup of hot water, ready to be served to the emperor; an obsessive compulsive nut who believed that the safest way to drink water was by boiling it first. The hygiene freak failed to notice that the cup of hot water had turned light-brown in color, and his nostrils were probably blocked, cause the nut couldn’t smell the aroma (hmmm… the enticing tea aroma) coming out go his cup. A sip of it and the obsessive compulsive hygiene freak (of an emperor) became an obsessively compulsive tea drinker. Being lunatic Despot et al, he imposed his obsessively compulsions on his subject, china became a nation of tea drinkers and the rest… history.
Thus we have the most significant draft in history, totally responsible for my Tea Addiction.
…I Blame Thee, you insignificant draft,
What compelled thee do blow those leaves
And guide them to the lunatic’s cup…
I suppose all this adds a new twist to the ‘butterfly effect’ theory, doesn’t it? An insignificant wind blew a few of leaves of a bush some 5000 years back and I am stuck with a ‘bloody’ addiction…
REALITY!!! I’m stuck with a ‘bloody’ TEA addiction!!!
posted by Arun Mukkath at 6:33 PM
2 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Shouldn't you be eternally grateful to the lunatic and fuck'n british for this boon on mankind... er... indian-kind(?). Anyway, like your "never blame yourself theory"... very convenient!!
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